The "N" Word

I hear the “N” word all the time. It used to shock me to hear it, and spoken with contempt by a Caucasian, it still does. But I am betraying my age. In one lifetime it has morphed from an offhand reference to an entire race, with almost no intent other than arrogant, assumed superiority, to an epithet used to lacerate and oppress, to a badge of honor. A popular third-tier TV actor uses it onstage in anger, and the middle version rears its ugly head. The folks who actually fought for civil rights in the ‘60s, such as Jesse Jackson, hear it with those ears, and react as you might expect. Who can blame them? But the sensibilities of those who are new to the struggle, and the mostly blind, unaware beneficiaries of all that pain and suffering given just a generation ago have moved on. The language of America has moved on. This generation uses the word as a mark of inclusion, of bond. Small kids, with basso-profundo voices, holler it at each other in Wal*Mart, and nobody even looks up. Popular songs use it all the time, a generic reference to the members of the tribe. Caucasians who wish they were that cool, modify it by chopping off the ‘er’ and subbing in ‘ah’, to show respect, and to show solidarity with the tribe, even if they can only be auxiliary members. Used in this way, it is so commonplace, so repeated, so normal, that it has largely been defused. Or at least until somebody who really has racist feelings on his sleeve at that moment loses his cool and adds the ‘er’ back and uses it in the old way. Then everybody notices. Shame on him, because he ain’t never gonna be let back into the clubhouse. And let’s stop kidding ourselves, by the way. Every human is a racist. We notice differences, we make assumptions at a subliminal level, and it goes in every direction. Blacks assume things about whites they meet, and vice versa, wrong or right. No white ever pays as close attention to the particular shade of a black’s skin as does another black. I hear whole heartfelt conversations between blacks on the subject all the time. Blacks have more words for skin shade than the Eskimo (oops, Inuit) have for snow. We look, and make assumptions about adolescents with thirty piercings visible, and may be very wrong, but that quick-look shorthand is inherent to the species, and to culture. We may assume the guy in the nice suit is a benign businessman, and no threat, and be very, very wrong. Just as we may wonder if the kid with his pants halfway to his knees and his hat on sideways might be a gang member, and be wrong. One thing for sure, he wants you to wonder. That’s why he dresses that way. There is power there. But it is self-serving and dishonest to get all done up as a punk or a gang-banger or a WASP businessman, and then object when someone thinks you might be what you purport to be. We stereotype ourselves, don uniforms of culture and class and go out into the world to interact, and subtly and not so subtly assert membership in a clan, a tribe. And then we take umbrage when someone takes us for exactly what we represented. Well the tendency to notice differences and draw up with your own goes all the way back in evolution. It is hard-wired. Red ants don’t like black ants. Culture only reflects this, it didn’t invent it. Culture is also our one hope of getting around the hard-wiring in our brains. Tribalism was adaptive and functional in the neolithic world. It will kill us in the modern world... We can recognize differences. We can suppress our own tendencies to shun differences. We can embrace and celebrate differences. But we will never cease to notice. It only matters that we cease to treat each other differently. I think this generation has a good start on getting it right. They seem to enjoy differences, but blur the lines, and defuse the tension. Maybe the return of the “N” word to common and benign usage will finally be a good thing, and take away its power to wound.